Thursday, May 27, 2004

Thank GOD! The Boy went to sleep last night in his crib around 8:30. I gave him some ibuprofin in the afternoon after much cranking and the difference was amazing. I got my cheery little guy back! Last couple nights had me feeling a little doomed. Every time I say out loud that he's doing well, we backslide. He woke up every hour and a half or so and fussed. But that's OK. I just go in touch his face and hands softly and whisper "shhhhhhh... It's ok little pumpkin." and he goes back to sleep. He was nursing a lot in the night again, but that's OK. He's getting so many teeth at once. Poor little dude.

I'm reading Kate Atkinson's "Human Croquet." It's just heartbreaking. I have a completely different take on books about parents and children now. It's about 2 misfit kids growing up in Gleeblands, England. Their mother disappeared when they were little and they live amongst broken depressed adults. This is where it gets weird. The fabric of time begins to shift and Isobel, the main character finds herself in Shakespearian times. But it's SO sad to think of kids growing up without parents.

Kids so often fancy themselves orphans. Their "real" parents are kings and queens and will come rescue them from their cruel step-parents who make them eat spinach and clean their rooms. But the reality is that kids love their parents and crave their approval, no matter how flawed the parents are. That's such a daunting responsibility. Your kids will love you and need you no matter WHAT you do, so don't fuck up!! You may get that love, but you won't be worthy of it. Will I be the one to destroy that innocence? God I hope not.

My neighbor has a four year old daughter who is the sweetest little girl. Every time she sees my son she gives him kisses and says how cute he is. She's got a heart of gold. This poor little girl is so uncool. The kids will make mincemeat of her in public school in a couple years. I can just tell because she is me at that age. And I was brutalized by my peers. Girls can be SO nasty.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka? It could work. He does some really amazing mime stuff. I never really liked "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was one of my favorite books ever when I was little. The movie never did it justice. The focus switched to Wonka, and Charlie was not a hero. He was merely less rotten than the other kids. Why am I thinking about this? It's on AMC and we have it on in the background. The thing that really bugged me about it (and bugs me now) was that Rohld Dahl wrote these amazing poems for the oompa loompas to sing, and they rewrote them. And they sucked! I could go on, but I won't.

Last couple nights have been tough getting The Boy to sleep. It's weird how he'll go down easy most of the time, then we just hit a wall. Last night, there was much fussing and much eye-rubbing and crying ensued. Then there was an ENORMOUS poop and he went right to sleep once I changed his diaper. Today, no poop, just exhausted sobbing boy rubbing his eyes and crying. Eventually we gave up on the crib and now he's fast asleep in my bed. It's pretty tough because I usually don't make dinner until The Boy goes to sleep. But I'm usually really hungry when I get home from work. Whine Whine.

I'm whining tonight.

Monday, May 24, 2004

I just figured out how to use HELLO! Like the British tabloid, only with cute babies instead of celebrities-I've-never-heard-of. So, here's pictures of The Boy. I intended to use this Blog as kind of a journal of motherhood, but it's a place of random babbling as well. That's OK because I don't think anybody reads it but my wonderful husband (who made me quesadillas for dinner tonight).

Eric at The Farm on Zaida's old tricycle. It's pretty amazing that he knew where to put his feet. Posted by Hello

Me and Eric a couple months ago. Posted by Hello

Eric on the floor. My GOD somebody is pointing a camera at me! Posted by Hello
This makes me very happy. Although I did not see "the Passion of the Christ," it's nice to see alternative voices still out there. Life of Brian looks at the ways in which we choose to follow/worship in a very funny way. As an agnostic Jew, the whole Jesus/Rockstar thing makes me more uncomfortable that I really understand. I HATE violent movies, so even if I were still amongst the DINKS (Double Income No Kids) I probably would not have chosen TPOFTC.

I very seldom go to movies any more. I've seen exactly ONE movie since the birth of The Boy, and it was the horrific "Cheaper By the Dozen." Although I did not exactly *choose* Cheaper By the Dozen. Cold Mountain was sold out and we were trying to seize the day and the free babysitting from my in-laws. So we went to a movie that said: "You should have no life beyond the needs of your children." The kids in that movie were HORRIBLE, complete brats. I thought it might be kind of a remake of the story of the Gilbreths, but although they were mentioned, it had nothing to do with them. It was not a good first movie for new parents to see. We tried to see Big Fish a few months ago, but The Boy got really upset and my mom spilled the bag of breastmilk I left her so she had to call us home before it even started. I really miss going to the movies. I'm looking forward to taking The Boy to the movies when he's old enough. I'll go see any Disney/Kid flick he wants to. My parents HATED all things Disney and it was banned from my house. My mom thought it was corny, and my dad still has nightmares about the queen in Snow White. So, no Disney for us. We didn't even own a VCR until 1986, then my mom wouldn't get a membership to a video store for another year. It's pretty funny in retrospect.

Life of Brian is one of my favorite movies of all time. It was the first time I ever saw a naked man. I don't find Monty Python nearly as funny as I used to, but I still love those movies.

Sunday, May 23, 2004

We went to a dinner party last night. My wonderful friend Jeff decided to have a party early enough that we could leave by 8. Even so, The Boy crashed in the car on the way home. He slept for about 45 minutes then he didn't want to go to bed until we did. That's fine. We're a co-sleeping family for the most part. On a "normal" day he falls alseep in his crib anywhere between 7:00 to 8:30. Sometimes he wakes up around 11 when he goes to sleep. Friday night he stayed in there until 2. Then he sleeps with us. Some nights, we just take him to bed with us if we're going early.

Co-sleeping is way more contraversial than it should be. I know he'll be in my bed at least another year. But he's a boy and getting more and more active by the minute. The only real snuggling he does is when he's drowsy and sleeping. We're trying to have the best of both worlds, so he's used to sleeping in his crib for naps and that's where he starts the night. But I have to work in the morning and I dont' want to be getting up as often as he does. So, co-sleeping it is. The only conflict I can forsee is when we have another baby. He won't be able to sleep in our bed initially when the baby is very tiny. But I think we can set up a place in our room for him to sleep if he hasn't transitioned out of our room by then. I saw this thing on the discovery health chanel on toddlers. A family was trying to get their two-year-old out of their bed and their idiot pediatrician said to do it cold turkey. I'd rather move into my kids room for a few weeks and transition them out that way. The poor parents on DHC, could stand the crying for about 5 minutes then, the little girl was so upset that she almost puked. And they took her out of her crib.

I'm NOT a fan of 'cry it out'. I purchased this book recently and it helped a lot. One thing it said was to trust your instincts. For the past month or 2 he's been waking up to nurse a LOT. Like 4 times a night. I figured something was up, but I didn't push it. But last weekend, he popped FOUR new teeth. Compared to what my friends with teething babies are going through, (hours of inconsolable crying on end) some extra nursing seemed like a dream. Now the teeth are out, and he wakes up 12ish to come into our bed, then at 3 then 7ish we're up for the day. I can live with that. Sometimes it's more than that, but he's such a cheerful guy. Everybody at dinner last night was amazed at how "well behaved" he was. One of the guys was the oldest of 5 kids, and he really knew how to play with babies. So, if he's crying, it usually means that something is really wrong. I want to that crying to MEAN something. If we start ignoring it to "train" him to sleep, then that communication will be broken.

On the flip side, a friend of my sister's let their baby cry for hours until she threw up on herself and they still didn't go in. But their daughter sleeps through the night, and my sister's daughter still wakes up and goes into her mom's bed. I'd rather encourage a family bed than break that trust. It's just the way I'm built.