Friday, April 14, 2006

4 Days Late and Counting

They're inducing me at 7:00 AM on Monday so at least this thing is finite. I have mixed feelings, as I know inductions don't always work and tend to result in hours of agonizing labor followed by an emergency c-section. But I'm willing to take the risk, as I can't stand to be pregnant a moment longer than I have to at this point.

We went to the hospital on Wednesday night. I was in a lot of pain, I'd been having contractions all day. But of course they stopped the second we set foot in NEMC and they sent us home. Rich started his paternity leave, which seems like a total waste now. But on Wednesday it really seemed like a good idea. I'm just so happy to have him around. This is just so inexplicably awful and the only people I can talk to are Rich and my Mom. I don't even want to talk to my sister right now.

I can believe how furious I am about this. I'm usually an optimist about most things. I know I'm lucky there's no reason to get induced, ie all is well. Baby's healthy, I'm healthy. But I just want to smash dishes or something I'm so pissed that I'm late. AGAIN. I look at Eric and try to think that he was worth it. I did go into labor with him eventually and he turned out GREAT. He was worth the extra week. But then I just get mad and feel let down. The doctors tell me that this is normal. However, at 35 all my friends have had babies recently, or they're about to. Almost none of them have been more than a day late at the most. Most went just before their due dates. So, I have no anecdotal evidence of this.

So, I feel like Otto from A Fish Called Wanda. You know the scene where he's trying to apologize to Archie? I'm really sorry... Punch! Only it's all in my head.

It's Passover. I just have to remember the words of my people... "This too shall pass..." F*ck YOU!!!!!

It goes on and on...

Thursday, April 13, 2006


Contractions started and stopped at random intervals all day yesterday. They were severe enough that Rich started his Paternity leave. Then around 4 I took a nap and woke up with a sharp pain in my lower abdomen. It wouldn't go away.

So, we called my parents and went to NEMC. No contractions, no progress so they sent me home.

I'm fine, but other than this short note, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. I wouldn't even answer the phone yesterday.

I am a grouchy recluse!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

For those of you who are curious...

No, I'm not in labor yet. I'm very grouchy. Don't take it personally if I don't answer the phone, or return calls. I'm healthy and strong, and the baby is doing jumping-jack headstands on my bladder. So, we're physically fine.

Just a little despondent...

I've been here before and I'll survive. I just don't want to talk about it.

Love to all...


Monday, April 10, 2006

Another Due Date Passing...

I am a relatively punctual person. But when it comes to having babies, that all falls to sh*t. Almost everybody I know was a little early for their second kid. But not me. It's April 10 (actual due date) and no baby yet. I'm off to the doctor in a bit to decide what to do. There's a fine line when deciding to induce. On the one hand it will end my suffering. This last phase of pregnancy is so hard, emotionally and physically. Plus the placenta starts to deteriorate after 40 weeks and fluids can start to leak. But induction comes with its own set of risks. It's better if I start labor on my own. Eric was a week late, and what an awful week that was. But at least it's not the last week of August now!

I've had contractions start and stop so may times now I've lost count. Last night, she was trying to stretch and it was incredibly painful and contraction-like, but it wasn't the real McCoy.

We've changed the name, but we're still not spilling until she's born. We want NO opinions on this, positive or negative. There was a name that came up that Rich and I both felt really strongly about. Not sure why, but we both thought it was The ONE. This was the first time this has happened for Baby Girl. We knew Eric's first name from the time we knew he was a boy. He was named after my totally awesome cousin Eric who left this world at the untimely age of 26. But it took us forever to come up with "Henry" for a middle name. He had vetoed all the names that I love, and really had no serious suggestions of his own. It was the same thing this time around. It was like asking a three-year-old to name his little sister. He comes up with "Chocolate, Vanilla, Strawberry, Toaster!" kinds of names.

anyhow.. I'll be so glad to take my little new baby home and introduce her to her big brother and her cousin and all the grand-rents. But for now, I'm just twiddling my thumbs and trying to rest.

And for some reason I've been feeling really smug about the fact that Eric has never seen the inside of a McDonald's. Yes... I've been spending a lot of energy thinking about that. I suppose parenting makes us insecure and we take our little victories when we can. I LOATHE McDonald's. I have since I was little. They put onions and PICKLES on everything. Disgusting.

Another thing I've been feeling smug about amidst all this late-pregnancy angst was a little recent incident: We got a set of Lincoln Logs from a family member. He found a tiny plastic gun and showed it to me and asked "What's this called?" I immediately distracted him with a Saltine and hid it away. Wow. These Cambridge educated preschoolers don't know from Guns. I can't help but think that's kind of cool.

Other than these two things, I'm totally flying by the seat of my pants and wondering if a toddler can get scurvy from an all-Saltine diet?