They're inducing me at 7:00 AM on Monday so at least this thing is finite. I have mixed feelings, as I know inductions don't always work and tend to result in hours of agonizing labor followed by an emergency c-section. But I'm willing to take the risk, as I can't stand to be pregnant a moment longer than I have to at this point.
We went to the hospital on Wednesday night. I was in a lot of pain, I'd been having contractions all day. But of course they stopped the second we set foot in NEMC and they sent us home. Rich started his paternity leave, which seems like a total waste now. But on Wednesday it really seemed like a good idea. I'm just so happy to have him around. This is just so inexplicably awful and the only people I can talk to are Rich and my Mom. I don't even want to talk to my sister right now.
I can believe how furious I am about this. I'm usually an optimist about most things. I know I'm lucky there's no reason to get induced, ie all is well. Baby's healthy, I'm healthy. But I just want to smash dishes or something I'm so pissed that I'm late. AGAIN. I look at Eric and try to think that he was worth it. I did go into labor with him eventually and he turned out GREAT. He was worth the extra week. But then I just get mad and feel let down. The doctors tell me that this is normal. However, at 35 all my friends have had babies recently, or they're about to. Almost none of them have been more than a day late at the most. Most went just before their due dates. So, I have no anecdotal evidence of this.
So, I feel like Otto from A Fish Called Wanda. You know the scene where he's trying to apologize to Archie? I'm really sorry... Punch! Only it's all in my head.
It's Passover. I just have to remember the words of my people... "This too shall pass..." F*ck YOU!!!!!
It goes on and on...